hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
