bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
