i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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