I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
