Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
