O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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