I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
