i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
