I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
