dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
