I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
be right there i have to get my cape
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
