Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
