so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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