Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
