he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
