I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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