woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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