"it" just moved
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
