that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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