Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
