sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she smelled like a LAN party
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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