It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
