She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
