Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
