ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
