All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
