I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
