I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
