why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
