2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
