so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i wish my penis had a tongue
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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