He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We are all done wearing pants today
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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