worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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