did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
