also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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