Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
