PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
