I molested 6 butterflies tonight
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
