you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
