Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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