I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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