I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
