please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
