i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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