I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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