i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
