Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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