You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
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