He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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