Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
