wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
