Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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