sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
