why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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