ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
