I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
